2:40am:

It's ok if you voted for bush... you're just a total warlike, self-centric, mindless, hollywood guided, dumbass moron. You got another 3 million people around you like that, you could also start your own nation and bomb countries, whee! :D You're so lucky!

But if you feel proud it and try to tell us you did the right thing... Man... You are such a benefit for the planet... You force people to invent new words to describe how bad your condition is!

You rule! \m/ Keep up the war over the planet. Keep up enjoying sending your family to die for oil. Keep up enjoying a moral life full of death, slaughter, blood, dirty money and making other people lifes as mizerable. You are indeed a nice person :) I am starting to like you.

Assholes...

4:05pm: Leaking myself into the muddest trash...

8:16am: Breath with me in the euphorius Night
And your senses dripping with wine
Your touch receives the silver gift
Craving for the Air to blow us away...

Take my hand and see my Dreams
Leaking up, in the Ethereal Night
Walk my trace, our Sand Castle Of Dreamlit Lords awaits
And in falling doubt and in unity
Tormentous disjoinment shall cease undone
Cracked but your Truth of Love...

1:28am: Boiling Realities Blend in Night
Updated ShadowDream.

12:30pm: The people applause the man who builds up the life made out of no problems and miseries, it is considered gift.

But is this the cause why such a person will drown in the first problem?

What will you consider right or better? The ability to deal with problems in a life filled with them or the incapability of it in a life-path free of troubles?

And what could one do when there is chaos around and all boundaries are reached and every next step is bad? Is painful. And hurting.

How do you pick up a bad out of others?

...

2:50pm: Watch... And Then you may see.

...just as you may listen only if you try to hearken first.

In this case all the big talking is for:
"No Such Thing"
(Directed by: Hal Hartley
Some Cast: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley)

(find out more...)

(in the US you may know it as "Monster")

Without really having any intention or liking in becoming importunate, you have to watch it!

3:32am: Death Trip
We are home cleaning up with my friends being on a deck for 24 hours .. and we still find the courage to clean the house before falling fast into sleep...

There is a really weird journal of the trip coming up for all you curious journal readers.

7:58am: Work

Boosting Up Self-Image

Is it coincidental that humans only feel euphoric and fulfilled upon and after creation? I would say "No", on the contrary, this is their purpose.

What is also quite obvious to me is that "creation", "expression", "art", "work" (all in co-ordination with one's will and liking) are tantamount and there is no substantial difference among them.

Could this be why people involved with art are so clung to it?
Why working people are clung to their job (provided they like it)?

Take away an artists instruments and you take his life, his purpose. Make a working person sit on a couch and you make them dead.

(Today I didn't go to work and I feel guilty... )

5:13am: Change the outside
...yes, changes on the inside could result from this. Therefore, since yesterday a new face lies on the core of this journal. Also visit my site for more. Shadow Dreams

7:34pm: Dreams

An example of how cosmic knowledge runs in your dreams

For the first time in the last two years I managed to "save" to my memory something which was revealed to in the middle are, between physical awareness and the awareness of a different level.

So I save the words. Here it is:

"Indifference of you towards a subject is emitted from you in the form of a wave towards it. Subjects which cannot tolerate indifference from you (for various reasons) will send the wave back, so you receive it and you can't ignore them any more.
But what is the most important to realise when you know this is: you cannot be indifferent for something which is beyond something else without being indifferent for this 'something else' as well. Your wave has to pass beyond someone or something to reach the next one. If it reflects on the first one, then you have no way to decide or to know whether you'll be indifferent for the second one because your wave does not reach it.
And in this point you realise that in order to be indifferent for anything, you first have to be indifferent for yourself for it is the first thing the wave passes through."

Lesson: indifferent people has no self esteeme - and maybe no self value as well.

5:26am: Gets away

Too many mails accounts, too many antennas?

Always check your e-mail acounts... Daily!

9:43pm: The Answer and The Understanding

"Enprint yourself on a piece of matter... And let it talk to you again for the things of the past, when everything around it will be dead, smouldered, and blown away by the wind..."

"There is nothing to explain... There is nothing to understand... Read and let your soul fly along with the words, let it wander on plains of of Dawn, of Sunfall, of Stasis, of Decay, of Floating Heavy Curtains, of Dim Light and Eyes in Shadow, of Blackwater flowing in cracks of woods decaying, of Crystal Sky, of Golden Fields, of Mistless Air, of Riding Mountains, of Deep Green Forests... and let it pick the elements it likes from there... Then, it will deliver you your answer."

There are some things the mind was not prepared to "comprehent"... Don't let them escape you.

1:55am:

Perspective Unlocks The Crystal Doors Around You

There is a saying:

There is no "I cannot". There is only "I do not will to".

It is such a key phrase that, like everything huge, just passes in front of human's sight completely hidden.

This phrase not only reveals the unlimitation of ability but also the limitation of human will.

Think which one do you let define in this weird equation...

4:14am: The Dust of Mirrors....

A Memory in Disillusionment...

Unbelievable indeed how many things remain hidden and retained under the seeming surface of our consiousness... Others we miss, others we think we forgot. But it's all there... On the mirros of your soul, dusted to the point you can't see you past in the background of yourself any more.

And all it takes for a breeze to come and blow in and out of your soul, to refresh, give a new breath, awaken your sleeping pools of memory, through some light in your dark caves filled with strange ideas and dreams, it a simple feel.. a too simple stimulation to be not rare ...

Just pay attention to it when it starts blowing...

Blessed may all dreams be.

5:44am: Zombie Hippies

X-Files do give inspiration at 5:46 am...

Zombies eat people becaused they missed what they did alive while they were dead... So they eat again because what they have in mind for later is to drink, ta dance, to laugh and to have sex.

But being typical humans, we judge them only by first sight and we don't search motivation or reason beyond actions.

Plus, there is beauty hidden everywhere.

6:11am: Music...

When synaisthisia does not annoy ...

Music is colours...

Music is memories...

Music is the touch...

Those echoing oscillations invoke golden landscapes in your mind... A rain over the Forest... A sky so deep blue you can just lay still into the timeless dream...

Vapors rise from the watching rocks... Leaves whisper... The sea is a floating dream...

How lucky...

8:41am:

I decided I am cutting out my pervyness.

---

~|iSi|~

---

1:44am: The Matrix

Matrix Night...

Ok, it all happened as they were forseen... Everything related to me, I wish I could say that for general.



... it is very hard to start from something... Anything. And what is worse is that, after that, it will be harder not to leave anything out as everything will come into my mind at once.



Maybe some flashback will help me...



( blah blah blah... )

8:24pm: Matrix Hopes |&| Bad Feng-Sui

The Matrix

Hopefully. today I am going to watch "The Matrix Revolutions". So normally in the night I'll be in schizophrenic mood, feeling totally off-world and I'll probably write the biggest nonsense entry here... I really hope that happens.

Quick update: Yes, I am going to watch... The only thing that could go wrong now is the actual cinema schedule has changed and they don't play it in 9p.m. anymore...

---

And let's move on to another subject which is in my mind right now

---

The importance of a nice environment around you.

... and I don't mean "family environment" or "friends environment" and things like that. I mean the very actual and physical environment in which one lives.

I recently moved away from my parents and I live alone and -given my personality- it was highly expected that I would create chaos around me and serve as a portal from the Chaos and entropia to enter this universe.

I don't feel like getting into details.

What I realized this time though is that this environment can play a really great part in determining ones mood and psychology.

While that wasn't so obvious the first days, it gets now, especially if I look back at the place I lived and just try to imagine my self in there again: all the worlds problems disappear.

It is very important to feel "home" when you get back home...

I don't currently back I am going to change that. I just advise you do the same.

~|Isilando|~

4:58am: Self Welcoming |&| A view in journal-writting:
So, here I am, another person in another net community...

Writing a journal was always one of the things I wanted to try. I never got the actual chance though, especially in real life...

The reason will sound stupid since I am writing this in a public diary site, but it was that I would never like my writings to fall into to alien hands.

This hasn't change but a journal like this is a mean to give your ideas the chance to project theirselves into a world-wide presentation, hoping that they may get some attention... which is not desperately needed of course.

So, this public diary could be used as the saviour of thoughts, as their protector against time and oblivion. And I decided to use it as that.

I hope I get inspirations to fill this place... And, even more, I hope I get the courage to overcome exhaustion and devote some of my energy tot those poor thoughts to selterize them into this visual form of sanctuary.

Another new beginning... Let's see where this leads...

~|Isilando|~